26/11 By Shekhar

Today we mourn at the first anniversary of attack on Mumbai. On this day many programs are being organized- news channels are conducting special debates, radio stations are asking people to speak out, graffiti is being painted on city walls. Even some companies are running offers based on the event. I know my musing are meaningless, but this atmosphere of speaking out is surely contagious.
One thing is particularly interesting this time around, page 3 intellectuals are very vocal. These attacks were definitely not the first nor the last. There have been similar brazed attacks in the past. Attack on Indian parliament and hijack of Indian Airlines plane are easy recall. Even Mumbai faced serial train bombings. The reason for the momentum this time around is because on 26/11 the elite were targeted. Till now this class was under the impression that they cannot be touched. This realization has made them very vocal.
I was also bemused to see Shobhaa De debating very excitedly in many of these TV shows. If my memory serves me right she is more known for her filthy writings than her intellectual capacity. I think she is better at writing soft porn stories than serious thought provoking articles. Few weeks back the same woman was very subtly arguing in favor of Raj Thackeray! Oh no, I am not against her, there were many other Bollywood characters present. I just find it sordidly funny.
Now consider this, yesterday a channel called our home minister and audience were asking him questions. This person was behaving distinctively snobbishly. Refusing to answer questions, he even asked a person "how you would behave if you were in my position". Sir, if I will give you the answer will you vacate your seat in my favors.
I strongly feel that terrorists are more passionate and simply more honest about there job and purpose. While we continue to pass the buck and make dirty money these terrorists have nothing to fear. How come our motherland has eased to be a uniting & igniting factor?

Amen,
Shekhar

Who Will Come To My Aid If Something Bad Happens To Me?

I regard the title of this note as the name of a serious psychological disease. A vast number of persons who have come in my contact suffer from this syndrome. Aged and young alike are the victims of this syndrome, though the seniors suffer more. The answer to this question is that God will come to my aid and for the non-believers, my past actions ('karmas') will come to my aid if something bad happens to me. "Bad" also needs to be defined and clearly understood. Nothing that happens as a result of the working of Nature is bad.

Indian culture and tradition has inculcated in us the concept that father and mother are gods (Pitra devo bhava, Mtra devo bhava) and we have to be loyal, respectful to them. Serving the parents and the grand parents in every possible manner brings us divine blessing. I find it difficult to accept this concept in toto. We should be thankful to our parents and elders for all the sacrifices they have made for us. It should give us pleasure and satisfaction to serve and help the seniors. If the father is corrupt and debauch, we need not be loyal to him. Our loyalty should be for certain ideals and values and not for individuals.

I am loyal to my boss because he holds the key to my promotion. I am loyal to my party President for he will nominate me to Rajya Sabha. Personally speaking, I am now from this burden of loyalities. At 73, I have no professional promotion to seek and I do not nurture any political ambitions. This is one of the many reasons why I feel so light and unburdened these past many years. Still there is one aspect of this 'pitra devo bhava' concept that causes lots of problems for old persons of my age group. They expect too much from their sons and daughters, and, being disillusioned, indulge in self-pity and frustration. My message to fellow greys is that the children are now Papas and Moms and their first priority is to take care of their families. Let us accept the one and the only truth - God will come to our (and everyone else's) aid if something bad happens to us. Chances are that nothing 'bad' will happen to anyone of us.

In one of my earlier posts, I had remarked that old persons do not have a future. This remark came under severe criticism by some of my very near and dear ones, as they thought that the remark smacked of pessimism, frustration and negative attitude. Now I want to clarify that having no future is to be interpreted as 'freedom from future.' Who does not want freedom? Who would like to remain a slave?

Right from the childhood we have remained slaves of future. Planning for our exams, planning for a career, planning for marriage, children's education, their marriage, etc. etc. Now we are senior ctizens - retired from job and free from domestic obligations. Our main responsibility now is to look after ourselves and help others if such a help is sought. The past is dead, the future cannot be predicted. The present is the only reality. Let us live in the eternal NOW, which is the only reality. I appeal to all the senior citizens not to brood over the past and not to worry about future. We have lived the past, we are not aware of future. We have achieved freedom. Let us live every moment of the present and be happy.

My Current Interests.

These days I am always thinking of diseases, death and divinity. I am neither depressed nor negative. It is just that these topics fascinate me a lot.

Nuclear Families, The Children & The Aged Persons

Social, Economic and Political changes have been far-reaching and fast in our country during these last six decades. The middle class has more amenities now. Life has become more comfortable. Due to economic factors and also due to enhanced professional mobility Joint family has become extinct, at least in the urban middle class. Society has embraced enthusiastically the concept of privacy, personal freedom and non-interference. These are really very good social ideals and personally I believe that they are good for us. The young as well as the elderly are wary of guarding their personal freedom. The above mentioned factors leave no scope for joint family to survive.

The death of the joint family has two major fall outs - the neglect of the infants and of the elderly or old persons. Creches or day nurseries are rendering very useful services where both the parents are professionally engaged. These creches are doing good business and earning quite well.

What about the oldies? Old age homes are mostly run by NGOs on charity. It is mostly the poor persons who live in these homes and are dependent on the charity of individuals and institutions. I have a suggestion to make. Will some enterprising persons run old age homes as a source of earning? There is, I think, lot of money in the business of running old age homes. In the cities there are a good number of elders who are capable of paying for the services rendered to them, though they are physically unable to live by themselves. The population of the elders has considerably increased in our country, thanks to the advanced medical care now available and also a sort of revolution in our society for awareness about health and fitness.

My suggestion is that more and better creches as well as old homes run on commercial lines is the need of the hour.

God's Gift.

It is quite common to blame one's 'fate' for one's miseries. 'Fate has been unkind to me' or 'God hasn't been very generous to me' - these are the complaints of the unhappy or unlucky persons. I feel that these complaints against fate, God or Nature are not justified. God gives in abundance. His treasury is overflowing with gifts to each and everyone. He does not discriminate. We get what we are capable of getting. One is more lucky than the other because he has greater capacity to be happy. One has more resources than the other because he is more industrious. It all depends on us; the more we are capable to hold , the more we possess. God is ever ready to give whatever we want; we have only to receive and retain that which is readily available to all of us. "Bahut diya dene wale ne tujhko, aanchal hi na samaye to kya keeje."

On Being Old and on your own.

I am 73 and my wife is 66. My sons and daughters are living at different locations, quite away from me. I and my wife live in our house at Indore. Some people, including my children, think that it is not wise to live by ourselves because we are old and may need help (medical, etc.) any time. Still we do not want to lose our freedom and our independence by becoming dependent on others. We continue to live on our own. Am I right? Please advise.

Great Relief.

There is a little oedema at my husband's feet. He searched in net reasons of it. He finds that its main cause may be kidney failure. Then he was quite sure that this problem is connected with kidney. Like a wise man he decided to get him checked by his diebetalogist-Dr. Sandeep Julka. But before going to him he started strict precautions in his meals. His efforts brought positive results and his blood sugar soon came down to normal limlts. But I was deeply worried about his kidney and remained under great tension during the period. All the time I pray my Sai Mother to spare my Navin from this deadly disease. But Navin was quite sure that his kidneys are not working properly.
Ultimately he went to his doctor on Wednesday. He took him seriously and asked to get all possible blood & urine tests, related his diebeties. Reports, received yesterday, i.e. on Thursday, are very normal. There is no trace of sick kidney & liver. We felt so much relieved. Tears come uot as soon as tension relieves. Immediately I offered Daxina Rs. 10.00 on His feet. Oh! Sai, how mercyful you are on your devotees. Your shower of grace are limitless. Only percentage of three months' blood sugar is 9.00, while it must be under 7.00, as doctor says. Oedema is because of slight reaction of one B.P. tablet. Thus doctor changed that medicine. In this way Lord Saimaa favours His Bhaktas so subtly, that it looks very normal, but these are miracles for a true lover of Baba. Please Sai ! keep on caring for me, otherwise I will become totally orphan.
Shailbala Misra.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME

I am going to celebrate my 73rd birthday on 22nd of this month. My musings on the occassion :

I have had a very happy and comfortable life so far. The pains, the anguish, the heartaches have been there, but only few. Besides God has given a very good trait to my personality - I easily and quickly leave behind and forget my unhappy experiences. I give the impression of a self-centered and quarrelsome person, but the truth is that I am a very simple and innocent person. Now I am 73 and I still retain my innocence. I know what cunningness is but I reject it as it does not pay in life. I am affectionate and harmless. I blush as I give these compliments to myself.

Behind my self-approval and satisfaction is a woman. Her name is Shailbala. She came to me as my wife in 1962 when I was 26 and she was just 19. She was so innocent and unaware of the ways of the world that one could have called her utterly ignorant. I too was her match as far as purity and innocence is concerned, but I was not ignorant. During these past 47 years, Shailbala has very subtly brought about a revolutionary change in me. I have become a better person as a result of her benign influence. A large part of what is good in me is due to my dear wife.

The proof of these 'good' qualities in me is the fact that God has granted me a very smooth and easy life. I believe that a crooked and cunning person is never given a life free of major troubles and tensions. I believe that inner peace and calm is the divine gift bestowed on guileless people. If in moments of anger and disgust, I wish ill of someone, I am full of fear the next moment, as I firmly believe that by doing so I will invite upon me the Divine wrath.

I have praised myself to my heart's content. Hoewer, let me admit that I am no saint and that I am quite ego-centric, quick-tempered and that I am quite prone to misunderstand others. I pray to SAI to rid me of these evil traits. Oh! Sainath grant me the boon of a peaceful and painless existence for the remaining days of my life. The following lines of a 'Bhajan' express my feelings as I turn 73 :

Bahut diyaa denewale ne tujh ko aanchal hi na samaaye to kya keeje, Beet gaye jaise ye din raina aage bhi kat jaaye dua keeje.

PRAYERS

1. Jai, jai Shankar deendayala, Jai, jai Sai Nath kripala.
2. Deen bandhu dayal Shankar Jaani jan apnaiye / Bhava sar paar utaar moko nij swaroop dikhaiye/ Jaane ajaane paap mere tinahi aap nasaaiye / Kar jori bhori nihori mangon begi daras dikhaiye / Devi Sahai sunaye Shiv son prem sahit je gaavahin / Bhava bandh te chhuti jahin te nar sada ati sukh paavahin.
3. Sai, Jai Sai, Come and uplift us. Oblige us, oblige us. We fall at the feet of Sai and say, 'Sai rakho, Sai rakho.' Kripa karo Maharaj.
4. We are in the embrace of love of the Beloved. We shall go and reside in the Mandir and reside there. ('Tera man mandir kahalaye'). The face of the Beloved is engraved on my heart. Why should we do prostrations (sazda)? Why namaz, and why fast? What use all these rituals? Do I offend the orthodox? I do not care. Sai is always with me.
   

Love for Life, Death And God

Every religion tells us that God is omnipresent, omniscient and omnipotent. Modes of worship vary from one faith to another, but everyone who believes in God regards Him as all-knowing, all-powerful and present everywhere. If a person believes in God and keeps these divine attributes in mind, he will actually become a God-realized soul. As for me, I cheat God and my own self by indulging in activities thoughts and ambitions that are not good and I know from my own conscience that these being ignoble can never get divine approval. Since I am a very ordinary person, slave of base passions and ambitions, I just try to ignore God in such situations. Keeping in mind that He knows all and that one cannot hide anything from Him is still helpful spiritually as one keeps oneself within limits and feels repentant for nurturing evil ideas. Spiritual masters tell never to forget God and Death. I think that besides remembering God and death one should also not ignore this beautiful and wonderful life. Sai Baba's teachings give us the message of living this life happily and meaningfully. If one serves a suffering person, one derives lots of pleasure.This makes our life worth living. It is a unique enjoyment. Too much ascetecism, like observing fasts and subjecting oneself to physical hardship for spiritual purification does not appeal to me, nor is it advocated by Shri Sai Nath. Too much asceticism as well as too much sensual pleasures both result in making one feel "spiritually heavy". I hope I have been able to express myself through this eaxpression. Many of us have felt that fundamentalism and orthodoxy of a religious person is far inferior compared to the simple lover of God or a spiritual person. In fact religious fundamentalism and orthodoxy is extremly harmful both for the individual and the society. The truth of this statement is proved by the havoc that is perpetrated by the religious bigots in India and other countries of the world. I prefer simple spirituality to religiousity.

Dr. N. C. Misra, Ph. D.

Slumdog Millionaire

Following is the review of the above mentioned movie written by my daughter-in-law, Sow. Ribhu :

Slumdog Millionaire won eight Oscars on 22 Feb 2009. The winners have done India proud. Although the Indian movie entry (in the best foreign film category) got lost midway and could not even reach the final list of nominees, I try to appease myself with the fact that Slumdog Millionaire was based on an Indian backdrop, has an all Indian cast and involved quite a few Indians otherwise as well.

The movie does not misrepresent anything and this very fact hits hard, more so because it is shown by a firang. It is easy to stay ignorant of the facts that are buried within our premises. There is much hue and cry about the movie script and the way it’s directed. We all know how corrupt we Indians are. Haven’t we seen people around pick pocketing and faking their identities as tour guides? Re-sealing the cap of bottled water also does not come as a surprise. But we are also egotist enough not to let anybody else say it. We will do anything to maintain and enhance favorable views of self. We love ourselves and this love makes us forget the bitter realities. India has infrastructural (roads, electricity, water) problems in addition to poverty, illiteracy and corruption. No doubt the movie is a work of art, not because of what it is about; but because of how it is depicted. The movie is about slum’s crowded lanes, hunger struck children, child abuse, cruelty and local gunda raj. Still it manages to leave you happy and besieged with emotions, possibly because of its fairy tale ending.

I do wish although, instead of Slumdog Millionaire, it would have been an all-Indian movie. That would have made me proud in totality.

Regards,

Ribhu

Who is lucky?

There are two brothers who are my close relatives. The elder brother is a retired Chief Engineer, the younger is Vice President in a multinational company. The elder's wife is Professor of Psychology in a well known University. First, about the elder brother - he has (had) two issues, a daughter and a son. The daughter was pretty, smart and charming; was married to a very good boy of her choice. She had a two year old daughter. She died on 11th of this month of Hepatitis. Her husband, her father-mother are emotionally ruined and are unable to come to terms with the harsh reality, that is death. She was only 32 years old when she died. Her brother is settled in the USA with his wife.

The younger brother has just one issue, a daughter. He brought her up as a princess. She got married two years back, but within a year divorced her husband. She is living in Istanbul and working there as a school teacher. To my mind excessive care and protection made her a 'spoilt child' and a rebel against her parents. Now she does not even want to see her parents. The rich and prosperous parents are heart broken on account of their only child.

Can we call any of these brothers lucky? Shakespeare had rightly remarked, 'Never call a man lucky till you have seen his last day.'

Me and my God

Is there God? The question is as old as human civilization. There is God, say some; there is no God , say others. The question of God's being or not being cannot be resolved by reasoning and arguments. It is a matter of personal experience. One who has experienced Him believes in Him and one who has missed such an experience cannot accept Him. Thus the believers and the non-believers are both right according to their own experiences.

For me, God is a reality. It is not just an abstract concept. Every being and everything that exists is proof of God's existence. Belief in God and adherence to rituals prescribed by different religions are two different things. Sometimes strict observance of rituals hurts my faith in the Almighty. For me, "Na vaju aati hai, na namaz aati hai, bus sizda kar leta hun jub tu saamne hota hai".

When one believes in God, one loves Him. Loving God is Bhakti or devotion. Love has many forms - the love between spouses, the mother's love for her child, the love of a child for parents etc.etc. For me, God is father. It is very important for all lovers of God to establish a definite and clear relationship wth Him. My God, my father, is a very loving and affectionate Being. I get everything from Him. Almost always He gives what I ask. Yet like a caring parent He will refuse giving that which is going to harm me. He is such a fond and protective father that I have become a spoilt child. My ego, my aham (which the scriptures define as a person's greatest enemy) is also satisfied by My Father. I do not bow or kneel before anyone; I donot ask favors from anyone; I am not dependent on anyone. I remain my egoistic self. It is all because my God gives me everything and prtects me in all possible and even impossible ways. I have put my head on His feet; need I bow down before anyone else?

Love for God keeps me protected and keeps me provided what I need. I cannot live without Him. Shri SAINATH Maharaj ki Jai.

On Getting Old

Lord Krishna tells Arjuna that had the human body not been subject to decay and death, nobody would have cared to remember Him. How true! The fact that everybody has to die someday, makes us realize that we are imperfect and limited in our abilities. This makes us remember and pray to Him.
Here I am not going to talk of death but of getting old. In a sense, a person never gets old; only one's body gets old. I mean a person's unique nature and his personality traits almost never change. An eighty year old has the same urges, desires and impulses that he had as a child of four. It is another matter that he has, in his old age, learned to hide the child in him behind the facade of sobriety.
Society expects a particular behavioral pattern from the elderly person. This behavioral pattern is cultural and varies from one community to another. The old man is expected to act in a particular manner. He must conform to the social image of an old person. If he acts otherwise eyebrows are raised and the community around him feels outraged. An old Englishman's behavior is different from that of an old Indian. The latest global Mantra is personal freedom and non-interference in a person's life. Youth today guards his personal freedom very zealously. I respect the principle of personal freedom, yet I have two points to make in this regard - this principle being very individualistic, breeds intolerance which in turn has finished joint family system and even harmonious community living; secondly, this principle if put into practice by an elderly person like me should not offend anyone.
Now I am going to be personal.The society in which I live does not approve of my expression of love for my wife because I am 73 and she is 66. Some days back I went to a Mall to purchase some gift for my wife for the Valentine Day. (She is the only woman I have loved in my life). The counter girl was amused when I told her that I need a gift item for the Valentine Day. Her reaction made me feel as though I am doing something not expected of a man of my age. Age itself has put many restrictions on my way of living. I cannot eat what I like because I have to be careful about blood sugar, cholesterol, triglycerides and what not. My body will not permit me to play cricket. I would be unwell if do not go to bed by 10 in the night. I cannot participate even as a spectator or audience in various entertainment programs that are organized late in the evenings. Added to these age related restrictions there are many social restrictions. One more example. I am fond of wearing bright and colorful clothes while an 'oldy' is expected to don 'sober' and dull clothes. When I put on a bright red or green shirt, I violate well established social norm or at least social expectations. Being a diabetic, I may sometimes need some eatable given to me even before my grandchildren get their breakfast. This need of mine is more likely to be taken as an old man's gluttony.
While I champion the cause of old person's personal freedom, I know there is a limitation to it. A time may come in a person's life when it is physically not possible to live by himself/herself. Then your 'personal freedom' is gone with the wind.
Finally, I pray to God not to grant me such a long life to make me a total dependent on others. Krishna, You are right. We remember You because of old age and death. HARE KRISHNA!

I like your article in your blog. It is very philosophical aspect about life.

Shailbala.

Ram naam satya hai & Shehnai.

On 11th. February a young lady, just 31 years old died in Sir Gangaram Hospital, Delhi, leaving behind a two year old very cute and charming daughter and a very loving and caring husband. She was Maneesha the pretty daughter of my brother-in-law, Ratan.

On 16th. February the wedding of Shefali was solemnized at Delhi with a boy of her choice. The wedding was planned months back, even before Maneesha fell ill.

My wife and myself reached Delhi on 15th. morning and were taken to Late Maneesha,s father-in-law's house where a grand 'Mritak Bhoj' ( feast after death) was organized. With tears in our eyes we both ate this lunch.

On 16th. night we participated in the ceremonies of Shefali's wedding. Shefali is the daughter of one of my wife's younger sisters. Band, music, dancing and a really grand dinner were part of this ceremony. We took our dinner here.

The girl who died in the prime of her life and the girl who got married to her prince charming are first cousins. These are two sides of the coin of life. We have to accept life as it is.

Oh God! I pray to You to give rest to the departed soul of Maneesha and grant all pleasures and happiness to the newly wed Shefali and her husband.

When someone's wishes are fulfilled I become rich. When someone dies a part of me also dies.
Sainath give me peace.