On Getting Old

Lord Krishna tells Arjuna that had the human body not been subject to decay and death, nobody would have cared to remember Him. How true! The fact that everybody has to die someday, makes us realize that we are imperfect and limited in our abilities. This makes us remember and pray to Him.
Here I am not going to talk of death but of getting old. In a sense, a person never gets old; only one's body gets old. I mean a person's unique nature and his personality traits almost never change. An eighty year old has the same urges, desires and impulses that he had as a child of four. It is another matter that he has, in his old age, learned to hide the child in him behind the facade of sobriety.
Society expects a particular behavioral pattern from the elderly person. This behavioral pattern is cultural and varies from one community to another. The old man is expected to act in a particular manner. He must conform to the social image of an old person. If he acts otherwise eyebrows are raised and the community around him feels outraged. An old Englishman's behavior is different from that of an old Indian. The latest global Mantra is personal freedom and non-interference in a person's life. Youth today guards his personal freedom very zealously. I respect the principle of personal freedom, yet I have two points to make in this regard - this principle being very individualistic, breeds intolerance which in turn has finished joint family system and even harmonious community living; secondly, this principle if put into practice by an elderly person like me should not offend anyone.
Now I am going to be personal.The society in which I live does not approve of my expression of love for my wife because I am 73 and she is 66. Some days back I went to a Mall to purchase some gift for my wife for the Valentine Day. (She is the only woman I have loved in my life). The counter girl was amused when I told her that I need a gift item for the Valentine Day. Her reaction made me feel as though I am doing something not expected of a man of my age. Age itself has put many restrictions on my way of living. I cannot eat what I like because I have to be careful about blood sugar, cholesterol, triglycerides and what not. My body will not permit me to play cricket. I would be unwell if do not go to bed by 10 in the night. I cannot participate even as a spectator or audience in various entertainment programs that are organized late in the evenings. Added to these age related restrictions there are many social restrictions. One more example. I am fond of wearing bright and colorful clothes while an 'oldy' is expected to don 'sober' and dull clothes. When I put on a bright red or green shirt, I violate well established social norm or at least social expectations. Being a diabetic, I may sometimes need some eatable given to me even before my grandchildren get their breakfast. This need of mine is more likely to be taken as an old man's gluttony.
While I champion the cause of old person's personal freedom, I know there is a limitation to it. A time may come in a person's life when it is physically not possible to live by himself/herself. Then your 'personal freedom' is gone with the wind.
Finally, I pray to God not to grant me such a long life to make me a total dependent on others. Krishna, You are right. We remember You because of old age and death. HARE KRISHNA!